Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Three Months

It's amazing how quickly time goes by these days.



Three months ago today, Josiah experienced life and death within a matter of seconds. Three months. Sometimes it feels like it was just last week. How did we go from pregnancy, to birth, to death, to 13 short weeks later?



On an average day I think about Josiah probably 10+ times...what he would have been like, how his siblings would be with him, what kind of trouble he and Caedon would have found together, how different our lives would be right now with a third child. These thoughts aren't tear-filled and grief-stricken like they used to be. I must say, we've come a long way from those first days of severe struggling. But still, on days like today, the three-month mark, (and I'm sure on future dates), my heart feels heavier, the scab opens up a little bit, and the wound hurts a little more. Yes, we are slowly healing...and still missing our youngest.


6 comments:

Cariluz and Ike said...

My dear cousin, you and your sweet family stay in my thoughts regularly. All I can say is that I am constantly amazed by your grace throughout everything. Love you!

Calafral said...

Beth- please know that we are all praying for you during this time as well. I agree with the previous post- You and Curt have been an amazing example of Faith and Grace.

Calafral said...

Beth - you and Curt truly have been amazing through all of this season. We pray for all of you often. You faith and grace has been inspiring

Kara Stoltzfus said...

i actually thought about you today, as i woke and looked at my calendar and saw the date. i know for myself that although it is ONLY a marker of time it still holds a significant value and always seems to open my wound. even now, whenever the 18th of the month rolls around there is a heaviness in my heart.
you are prayed for daily and loved!!
again, i have visions & hopes of logan & josiah in heaven, being little boys (maybe being like brothers. since they aren't with their earthly brothers)
you are LOVED. Josiah is LOVED and not forgotten.

Beccalynn said...

He was--and is--precious. That's three months he's been in the presence of his Heavenly Father basking in glory you and I can only imagine. Three months of heaven. That must be so hard for you, but he's doing just fine!

Ruth Feeney said...

The Lord has been with you this whole time, and I know you know that. There has been a grace and wonder about you. All I can say is that I love you, so very much. You have always been a cousin dear to my heart!