{four}

Today we remember a life we once knew four years ago, celebrating Josiah's birthday and home-going.


For the unaware - we found out about a week prior to Josiah being born that he would not live after birth. I was seven months pregnant when our 8+ pound third child entered this world, heart still beating, unable to take a breath on his own. We said hello and goodbye within minutes.


Having to give a child back to Jesus has been the most difficult thing I've ever done - hands down. Labor/delivery with the others (yes, even the eleven-pounder), the c-section with Josiah...those were walks in the park compared to letting him go. It's amazing how physical pain can fade, but emotions linger, cropping up from time to time, making for good days and bad days.


We already see God's hand in how this day is being redeemed. Our Josiah shares his birthday with two other close friends' children, and neither one of those friends had due dates very close to today. God knew what he was doing, and that hasn't changed. Just as David did when his child died (yup, it's true...check out 2 Samuel 12), we, too, trust that we will be with Josiah again someday.


For now, we are thankful for those who walked (and continue to walk) this road so closely with us. We are thankful for these three healthy, earthly blessings.

And we remember, continuing on with the new "normal" that we know.

Happy four years in Heaven, little man.