Lately I've been having these epiphanies...awakenings...ok, so we'll just call them random thoughts/occurrences that get me thinking.
A few days ago the kiddos and I were at the grocery store. Here I am, pushing an infant in a shopping cart with a sassy 3 year old walking alongside me, me wearing Adidas pants and a sweatshirt, hair pulled under a hat, no make-up...the typical for a mama of two who sometimes feels like life is spinning way too fast. :o)
Now, imagine with me, if you will...
Walking down the aisle toward me is a tall, young (hey, I'm almost 30...I know I'm not 20 anymore), blond woman wearing her corporate gear, carrying her lunch (a salad the size of my fist), heading toward the checkout. She walked past me, and then it happened: I got the glance. You know what I'm talking about...the one that says it all:
"Thank God I'm not her!"
What?! Did that girl just say that out loud, or am I just reading her mind??? The glance truly said those words to me, clear as day.
That small event set off a day of thought for me. It started with some feelings of missing the working life...the "getting dressed in nice clothes and being around other grown-ups" life.
Then it led to feelings of inadequacy...I'm not good enough, I should be working more and contributing more to the income, etc.
That only led to feelings of guilt...I shouldn't feel bad for being home with my children, they should be my priority and I shouldn't be missing the way things used to be.
Here's the conclusion I came to: We are all in different seasons of life. Some of us are work-from-home moms while others are stay-at-home moms. Some are corporate workers while others are part-time waitresses. Whatever season you are in, enjoy it! Things change in an instant, it seems, and we need to be living up the life we currently have. My children will not be at home with me forever :(. They will grow up and move on, and life will change for me again.
So, for now, I will be the work-from-home mom, feeling lucky to get a shower each day and to be home with my precious cargo. No more feelings of inadequacy. God has blessed me to be who I am and where I am, with what I have, and for that I'm grateful. :o)
More thoughts on other topics to come...
4 comments:
Amen, sistah! Great post! I can TOTALLY relate.
Oh, wow...you completely verbalized the feelings that have tried to overwhelm me at times ever since we moved out here. I, too, have missed some of the things that were part of me working outside...the traveling, being around adults, the great experiences, and of course, wearing clothes other than my "Mommy" uniform...but I DON'T miss the rushing to get everything done, the stress, the feeling that I am not spending enough time with my kids. Great post, it is good to have a reminder that I'm not alone and this season of my life is one I will always treasure!
You are beautiful through and through, don't ever feel different. And I sometimes envy that some mothers have the opportunity to be stay-at-home moms. I wish I could be with Kaeli more. Hopefully I will have more of an opportunity now.
oh my word, i totally agree. i get that look all the time and i know i've given that look and i feel so bad for ever giving it!! i need to take your advice and just enjoy this season of life and not care that i only shower twice a week! :) (why is it always the shower that gets pushed back?)
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