Three Months

It's amazing how quickly time goes by these days.

Three months ago today, Josiah experienced life and death within a matter of seconds. Three months. Sometimes it feels like it was just last week. How did we go from pregnancy, to birth, to death, to 13 short weeks later?

On an average day I think about Josiah probably 10+ times...what he would have been like, how his siblings would be with him, what kind of trouble he and Caedon would have found together, how different our lives would be right now with a third child. These thoughts aren't tear-filled and grief-stricken like they used to be. I must say, we've come a long way from those first days of severe struggling. But still, on days like today, the three-month mark, (and I'm sure on future dates), my heart feels heavier, the scab opens up a little bit, and the wound hurts a little more. Yes, we are slowly healing...and still missing our youngest.

Yet Another Parody - For Mamas of Preschoolers

Sorry for my absence from blogging lately. I'm having major writer's block, major time constraints, major work to get done...hence the lack of posts. But I will try to get better soon, I promise!


In the meantime, here's another parody for you to enjoy. I came across this one on a Facebook friend's wall and just about wet myself with laughter. It has a certain "this is your life right now" feeling to it. ;o)

Sesame Street Music

I just love hearing songs like this on Sesame Street. (Click to play)



It makes me less mad about the banana that's smashed into my son's hair/face/shirt and my couch.

We're back!

A few days of sun and swimming...

catching some zzz's...

making mermaids...

seeing Cindy's Castle...

playing with the air nozzle on the plane...

and taking in the local wildlife...

can make you feel good!

V.A.C.A.T.I.O.N.!

What's that word??? vay-cay-shun? Hmm.

It's been so long.

And so overdue.

BUT...

Eeearly tomorrow morning (and I mean 3:00am early) we are headed out to catch a plane

to Florida! Yay!

Am I nervous to travel with these two?

VERY.

Am I excited to be in a warm place where the sun is supposed to be shining the entire time we are there?

Beyond.

Are we going to spend a day Magic Kingdom and possibly see my little girl pass out at the sight of Cinderella's Castle?

You betcha! (I'll try to capture that moment on my new Flip video camera to share it with you.)

See you sometime next week!

Due Date

I'm feeling a bit melancholy today...actually, I've been that way, on and off, since March began.

I've had this date in the back of my mind, tucked away with the "If only's" and the "What if's".

Today was Josiah's due date.

And even though I'm not big on the whole "due date" thing, (since less than 10% of babies come on their "expected" date), today is still a reminder of who we don't have in our arms. Of what we lost. Of what we expected March to be like.

Overall, we are doing better each day. But we still have moments (and will always have them) of looking at our two babes here on earth and wondering what it would have been like with three. What sorts of trouble would the two brothers, only 20 months apart in age, have gotten into? How many "I want to hold him now!" fights would I be breaking up each day? Would Danae be sitting next to me, nursing her dolls, just as she did when Caedon was born? And how I miss that sweet, completely distinctive smell of a newborn that doesn't seem to fade until they are at least six months old.

While we celebrate the fact that our Josiah is with Jesus, we still miss him everyday. That doesn't ever go away. Today we remember the 32 weeks I was blessed to hold my son, and we look forward to holding him again someday in Heaven.

The weekend

On beeeauuuutiful Spring weekends...

when we don't need to be anywhere in particular (which is quite rare)...


you can find us...


doing motorcycle rides around the back yard...

enjoying a simple "girl's only" dinner outside...

and taking silly pictures.

The End.