I try to be Wonder Woman. Try to keep it all together. Get the "to-do" list done. Honor my God. Love on and care for my husband and children. Keep everyone happy while maintaining a healthy sense of balance.
But here's the truth: This week has been one of the worst in my entire life, and no Wonder Woman can fix it. Our hearts hurt furiously.
What started with a regular prenatal appointment on Monday quickly turned into ultrasounds and further tests to reveal aching news...news that we never, ever expected.
Our third child, now 31 weeks in my womb, has only a small chance at survival. And we aren't sure if we can do anything about it.
This week...filled with car issues, a work truck in need of a transmission, stomach viruses, migraines, head colds, tests I never thought I'd have to go through...this one week has made us stop in our tracks and put schedules, appointments, future plans, and dreams on hold. We are forced to face the huge possibility that, while I am feeling a child moving inside of me right now and look like I'm over 9 months pregnant, we may not get to raise our third baby. We have to think about how we might need to tell our 4 year old who is, quite possibly, one of the most excited people to have a baby in the house again that her sisterly plans and dreams might not happen.
We never thought we'd have to go through this. Over 4 years ago, our hearts hurt tremendously for friends who lost their beautiful first born, and we couldn't begin to imagine the pain they felt. Now, it's as clear as day to us.
And it hurts deep.
Our child has a condition called hydrops, and we will hopefully find out next week what the underlying cause is and what can or cannot be done. For now, we seek your prayers, especially for the Lord to bless this baby and us with a miracle. We know that He is capable of anything, and we are relying on His strength to get us through it.
Thank you for standing with us. You are loved and appreciated more than you'll ever know.