Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Josiah David

Almost 2 weeks ago we found out our unborn child had a condition and would most likely die.

One week ago today, our Josiah David was born and quickly went to rest in the arms of Jesus.

And even now, as I still sit here typing this and wondering where a week went, everything still feels very surreal. Almost like we are looking in from the outside.

We have many questions. Many emotions. So much hurt and sadness. Right now we comprehend the facts and can convey those to you...and in the coming days and weeks, a lot more will flow out of my soul and head.

So here is our son's story for now.

We found out on Thursday, January 21 that our unborn baby had a condition called fetal hydrops. The baby was full of fluid and had pockets of fluid around the heart and lungs. While the major organs were perfectly fine, the fact that fluid was present indicated otherwise. There was also way too much amniotic fluid surrounding the baby, making me look 44 weeks pregnant instead of 31. We knew this jump in fluid had happened over the previous 3 weeks because I was feeling completely fine and comfortable up until the beginning of January. At that time, I started to not sleep at night, and I kept feeling like my belly was in my lungs.

On Friday, January 22 we had an amniocentesis and blood work done to see if the hydrops was due to a genetic problem (which is what the specialist thought), or possibly some type of infection that I encountered while pregnant. Since the level three ultrasound showed normal blood flow in the brain and normal heart development and activity, other likely causes had already been ruled out.

On Monday, January 25, the results came back: all negative. The doctors could not figure out what caused the hydrops.

On Tuesday, January 26, we had another appointment with the specialist to double-check the extent of the hydrops to see if anything could be done. The ultrasound showed an increase in fluid in and around the baby, as well as confirmed the severity of the hydrops. Our specialist told us it was almost 100% likely that the baby would not survive.

Wednesday morning, January 27, I woke up in excruciating pain along the left side of my belly. I thought I pulled a muscle because I realized I had rolled from my sitting up sleeping position to my side. The pain continued, and on my way to work I realized that the normal Braxton-Hicks contractions that I had been having for weeks were getting worse and going into my lower back. I called the specialist from the side of the road and headed in to his office.

After a non-stress test, exam, and ultrasound, the doctor said a few things were happening: 1) I was dilated 2 cm and contracting every 6-7 minutes, 2) the amniotic fluid in and around the baby increased even from the day before and was almost double what it should have been, 3) the baby's heart rate was dropping into the 60's and 70's at different intervals during the non-stress test, and 4) the ultrasound showed that blood flow to the baby through the umbilical cord was decreasing. The doctor believed the baby would die in the womb in a day or two and advised a c-section that day in order to see if they could save him/her.

In under two hours, I was changed and prepped, Hubby arrived, childcare was taken care of, and I was getting a spinal. At 12:24pm, our third baby, Josiah, was born. The NICU staff tried taking the fluid out from around his heart and lungs, but it did no good. They tried inserting a breathing tube but couldn't. Once Josiah was cut from the umbilical cord, his heart stopped, his condition ended, and he got to meet Jesus at a much earlier time than we ever thought.

This past week has been the hardest ever. Hands down. I spent four nights in the hospital after developing a uterine infection and needing 48 hours of IV antibiotics. Almost every person that spent time in our house or with our children during that time (even Hubby) developed the same stomach virus that our children had the weekend prior, causing lots of vomiting and sickness. And we miss Josiah terribly. I can't ever say that enough.

We know that tons of people are lifting us up in prayer, and we can never thank you enough. Please continue to do so, as I heal physically and we try to find some sense of normalcy in life.


Sara said...

I'm so sorry. Keeping you all in prayer.

The Jacobsen Family! said...

My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry. I will be keeping you in my prayers, as well as your family. May God give you the peace only He can give.

Beccalynn said...

I'm so so sorry. I"ll be praying for you. That's so hard.

Freakley Family said...

I can't even begin to express our deepest condolences. We'll be thinking of you...

Stephen's Family said...

You don't know me but I have been following your blog for a couple weeks via Rachel J. Tears stream down my face as I read your last entry. My prayers are that Jesus will hold your family just like he's holding your little precious Josiah David.
Much love in Christ,

Anonymous said...

we are home and i am still thinking of you almost constantly. my heart continues to ache with grief & sadness.
lets get together.

i find hope and peace in the thought that logan and josiah and playing at heaven's gates and enjoying one another as young boys should.

Ruth Velez said...

Oh my dear cousin, you are loved so much!!! I cannot being to know what you feel; my experiences do not compare to yours. But I do agree with your friend, Kara. Josiah (beautiful name) is in Heaven perfectly healthy, laughing and playing with her son, Logan, and all the other babies that did not get to live here on Earth. I continue to pray for peace. I know you and your family would certainly love an explanation, but in the absence of one, I pray for peace.

Beth said...

I pray for you daily and have others in my church community doing the same. I hate that we are separated by so many miles because I long just to give you a big hug and lend a hand wherever you would need me. I would drop everything to help in a heartbeat, I hope you know that. Love you much! The "other one". :)

Love the Decor! said...

i am so sorry . I had no idea!!