Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Danae-isms of a different sort

I’m an emotional wreck, and that’s okay.

My 4-year-old daughter and I had a wonderful conversation, initiated by her, on our way to her gymnastics class tonight. And it brought me to tears.

Her questions started with “How did Jesus take baby Josiah up?”

She continued on with the following:

“Why is Josiah in Heaven and not here?”
“Why can’t we be with him?”
“Will we die, too? When?"
"Will we see Josiah when we die?"
“Does God have toys up there for Josiah? What do you think he’s playing with?”

She wrapped up our little Q&A with, “You sound like you are crying. Are you sad, Mommy?”

Oh the thoughts that must be going through my inquisitive babe’s head. Things I wish she never, ever had to wonder at such a young age. Issues I never thought I’d have to explain in a simplified manner.

But, in the end, I’d rather Danae ask the questions, know the answers, and remember the baby brother that she loved so much before he was born…the boy she never got to play with, feed, or push in a stroller, but will one day see in Heaven.

Yes, my emotions are all over the place, but that’s okay.


Love the Decor! said...

Praying for You and your sweet family.
The innocence in a child's questions can be a healing balm to a hurting mommy. Praying this will be true for you!!

Anonymous said...

we also are starting to have to answer questions too, although a bit different since madelyn was born AFTER we had logan. however, she knows he is her big brother, that he "rests" at nana & pop-pop's house in the fence (where his grave is). just sunday after taking a LONG walk outside with my dad and going to visit logan's grave she came inside and and immediately asked me "when will i get to play with baby logan. when will i see him?"
it is all so hard for me, an adult, to wrap my head around. i can't imagine what it is like for maddie or danae.
i pray for peace, guidance and wisdom as you walk through this with your children.

Mrs.Rabe said...

These are hard but precious conversations...

Sarah had been so close to my grandma and when she died 3 years ago, she had lots of questions. Also we had been praying for a family whose 9 year old daughter died of cancer. All these opportunities to teach them of our Savior and heaven and eternal life, lead to Sarah coming to Christ when she was 5!

Tell her simply and honestly. And if you don't know, tell her that too!

Praying Beth for you and your family!

Hostetter6 said...

Beth, My thoughts are with you as you try to answer Denae's questions when you yourself don't have the answers, and all while your heart is breaking for her and you...

As you know, we lost our firstborn, so I didn't have questions from little ones at home. But, my boys know that they have a big brother who lives with Jesus. The Christmas right after our son was born and died I made angel ornaments for our Christmas tree ... I still to this day treasure those ornaments with all my heart. Each year when we decorate the tree we all talk about Kevin Matthew ... what he might look like, what he might be interestd in, what foods he might like, etc. It is such a special time for me to hear the thoughts, questions and perspectives of my little loves concerning the brother they never got to know. It makes it easier since my pain in not so raw. Some day I believe you will find comfort and peace in these discussions with Denae ... just hang in there.

You are prayed for and loved.

Ruth Velez said...

You ate absolutely right! It is okay, everything that you are feeling. That is the only way you will be able to work through them and function. Danae is such a beauty and humble little girl.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Beth! This is the part that just rips at your heart. My prayer is that it will strengthen their faith as we pray for wisdom in giving them honest answers they can understand. Love you, Diane (Peifer)

Alyson said...

I can only imagine the loss you are feeling. Thank God for little people and their wonderful questions. Yes he IS with God...I'm so sorry Bess.